1. His Schedule Changes
The typical guy excuse to cover his tracks with you is that he is working late. If your man suddenly starts working late and his job never required overtime before, this is definitely a red flag that something is up! Chances are that he is working on more than a company project. If you don’t want to be the woman who is wondering what your man is doing after hours, drop by with a picnic basket of goodies. If he’s there, provide him with the treat. If he’s not, treat yourself and drop him like a hot potato!
2. Friends of the Opposite Sex
Now, there is typically nothing wrong with a harmless friendship, but be sure to use your better judgement. If your guy has more friends who are girls than you do, there is a potential for a problem. He may have a little black book that he keeps on speed dial, and he just may be seeing more women than just you. If you are frequently interrupted by women calling at all hours of the night and day, these women are flirting with your man. If he truly wanted time with you and only you, he would turn the phone off and ignore those calls. Phone time for men is privileged time.
3. Turns Into a Fitness Freak
If your man didn’t just go to the doctor with a mini-heart attack or a major health scare, and he starts being a fitness freak, there is reason to be suspicious of his behavior. Couch potatoes do not turn into fitness freaks for no reason. Taking pride in your appearance and health is one thing, but taking it over the top by bulking up with weights and being gone at the gym during all hours of the day or evening is a good reason for the woman in his life to become a wonder woman. You will definitely find yourself wondering why he is hanging out there.
4. Guilty Rage
If he starts showing anger toward you and volatile emotions that have never been an issue in your life as a couple, it is highly likely that his behavior stems from guilt. If he starts criticizing the little things you are doing and finding fault with your behavior, it is likely that he is projecting his guilt on you. If your clothing choices are suddenly too sexy, and instead of being proud of you, he is angry at you for showing off in front of other men, it is likely that he is cheating. Remember, guilt makes a man act angry.
5. Money Goes Missing
If you are missing money from the collective till, your man may be spending the cash on his mistress and his rogue activities. The money could be spent on hotel rooms, gifts for his mistress, and meals out that you aren’t invited to or aware that he is eating either. If he is draining the bank account at an ATM, he may be using cash so that you can’t track his spending. If he is newly secretive of his spending habits, he just might be a cheater.
6. Doesn’t Spend Time With You Regularly Anymore
If you and your mate were practically joined at the hip for a while, and now he can’t spare five minutes to spend with you, odds are good that your relationship is headed for an impending disaster. If he isn’t sharing his life with you, odds are that he is sharing it with someone else. When you are the reminder of reality and responsibilities more than you are a reminder of romance, he is likely to be avoiding you and looking for greener pastures. Take note of when this change began because you will find that he still makes time for the ones he loves. It just may not be you anymore.
7. Shows More or Less Affection
If your mate is either more amorous or less amorous than normal, it is likely that he is cheating. He can be fulfilling his fantasies of someone else with you. If he acts differently in the bedroom, and his actions range from exotically hot to frigidly cold, pay particular attention to the rest of his behaviors. This is one of the symptoms of cheating that should be quickly acknowledged. However, be aware; he is not likely to admit to doing anything wrong even if you confront him. Denial is a typical cheater behavior.
8. Phone Paranoia
If you have had an open relationship and shared use of phones and passwords and he suddenly is locking you out of his phone and expecting privacy when he uses it for texting or talking, then you might be in the midst of a cheating crisis. If he blames you for being too nosy or says it is your fault that he is changing his passwords, this is a definite red flag that needs your immediate attention. When he suddenly doesn’t want you involved in every area of his life and he has been free and open before, you know something outside your marriage has triggered his behavior. If it is a new relationship and you’ve never shared passwords, do not read much into this because you are building trust. Changes in behavior are the biggest red flags in relationships.
9. Picking Fights
If your mate is consistently picking fights so that he can stomp out of the house and leave, chances are he is picking fights so that he has an excuse to leave and go meet the other woman. These fights are especially noticeable if you were getting along, not fighting over little things, or just content in the relationship. If your mate consistently mentions leaving for good during fights, there may be someone waiting in the wings for your relationship to fall apart. Pay attention to this red flag if you want to save your marriage.
10. Bathroom Door Closes
If your mate has always left the bathroom door open when getting ready to leave for work or so that you could have a conversation while attending to necessities and the door is now being closed, there are psychological reasons for this if your mate is cheating. Shutting the door creates a physical barrier for the emotional barrier that is being erected as someone new enters the picture. When emotional and physical connections are made with new people, there is no room for the old. Shutting the mate out with a door reveals that they are doing that in the emotional state also.
11. Accuses You of Cheating
When your mate accuses you of cheating, and you know you aren’t, be suspicious; be very suspicious of your mate’s behaviors. When a cheater is feeling guilty, it is easy for them to project those feelings onto you. Accusing you of the same behavior makes them feel less guilty. It is a lot like the old saying “the guilty dog barks first”. If he is barking at you, most likely he is guilty.
12. Sleep Problems or Wakes up Startled
If your mate wakes up disoriented and looks around to figure out where he is and this is not typical behavior, he may fear he is waking up in a bed somewhere else after a tryst and a short nap. If he calls you the wrong name, this is a dead giveaway that someone else is on his mind. Sleep problems are some of the most obvious cheating behaviors. Be aware of changes in sleep patterns; they are windows that reveal problems. Nightmares, restlessness, sleep talking, and startled waking are physical signs that emotional changes are happening.
13. Listens To New Music
If your mate suddenly starts listening to a different genre of music or likes a new favorite song, chances are the song or genre is linked to someone new. Every couple has a favorite song, and if he’s not singing yours, there could be trouble in paradise. If the new lover is a rock or pop fan, odds are good that your mate will be listening to it as well. Remember, if your mate has only listened to country or hip-hop with you and it isn’t another form of mid-life crisis, it is likely that someone new has opened the door to the different tunes. You know your mate better than anyone else, so these small things are major red flags!
14. Buying Gifts
If your mate never bought you gifts unless it was a major national holiday or your birthday and you are now receiving gifts frequently, pay attention to this red flag! Men do not usually become gift buyers unless they are trying to make up for something. Guilt can make them shower you with gifts, even if their heart really isn’t in it. Buying gifts out of guilt is a typical move in the Cheater’s Playbook. If he is showering you with gifts, look for the real motive.
15. Lipstick on the Collar
This is an obvious sign that he is kissing and not telling you about it. If you are finding perfume, lipstick smears or other changes in his clothing, there is probably another woman involved. If he never wore the same tie twice, and he is wearing a new one frequently, it may be a gift from the other woman. Colleagues don’t regularly hug or exchange cosmetics on their clothing despite what he’s telling you is the norm.
16. Has a New Smoking Habit
If he’s never been a smoker and he is lighting one up, chances are his nerves are shot from all the sneaking around. Nicotine is known to soothe the nerves, and a cheating man’s nerves are on edge if he is afraid he might get caught! If he is going through multiple packs a day, be aware that something is going on with his emotions. Men don’t usually go from not smoking to smoking a carton of cigarettes overnight. Stress triggers smoking, and if he isn’t cheating and he is suddenly chain-smoking, he is under a lot of stress.
17. Caught in the Act
If you walk in the room, and he is a little too cozy with someone else, believe your eyes not the lies! Caught in the act is frequently the way men are caught. Careless and overconfident men bring the other woman into their everyday life. Many times the other woman is a friend or a colleague that you have been cordial with in the past. This is one of the most difficult signs to deal with when it happens to you.
18. Someone Else Tells You
It is never easy for a friend to know that a friend’s mate is cheating. This is the ultimate friend dilemma. If they rat them out, they are forever linked to the cheating event. If they don’t, they feel like they too have betrayed their friend. This is one time a friend really has no way to win! Remember, don’t hate the messenger.
19. Spends a Lot of Time Online and on the Phone
If your mate was never an avid computer user, and he is suddenly constantly chatting on social media, chances are that he has met someone new. If he doesn’t come to bed on time and doesn’t have much to say to you because his face is buried in his laptop, tablet, or PC, he is most likely, at the least, emotionally cheating on you. If he takes his phone with him to the bathroom, this is another likely sign that he is bonding with another. All of these behavior changes are reflective of the inner changes of the relationship. Be aware that something is up if he is suddenly online all of the time!
20. Unexplained Bruises
If your mate has love bites or scratches in places that he is trying to keep covered, it is likely that he is cheating. Scratches and bruises are telltale signs of cheating. If your mate prefers to slip into the bed with you in the dark and is suddenly staying dressed around you, there is a possibility that he is cheating. Attacks of self-consciousness do not appear at random. If he is showering or shaving with the bathroom door locked so that you can’t wander in unannounced, he may be hiding a cheater’s bruise from you.