20 Signs That They’re Just Not That Into You

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Staff Writer


1. No Returned Phone Calls
If the person you are into doesn’t return your phone calls for days, then it’s a sign that things aren’t going well between you two. Many people who don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings will use passive/aggressive behavior such as not returning a call for three or four days, and then apologizing for the rude behavior and doing it again.

2. You Haven’t Met The Person’s Friends
Mingling with the friends of the person you like is one of the milestones that confirms a relationship is solid. If you’ve asked to meet your loved one’s friends, and a shrug is all you’ve received in return, take that as a strong hint that things are heading south and that your togetherness is going to be short-lived.

3. There’s No Intimacy
Don’t mistake intimacy for sex. Intimacy is all about deep communication, and you knowing everything that’s on the other person’s mind. If you’re into someone, you share your feelings and allow yourself to be vulnerable, right? If the person you like hasn’t done that, or refuses to do so when you ask, that’s a clear sign of a disconnect.

4. Constant Criticism
A person who is always criticizing everything you do is probably someone who is trying to send you a message. And that message isn’t that you need to change, but more likely that you just don’t measure up and you shouldn’t bother trying. Excessive criticism is a sign that the other person doesn’t consider you the right fit.

5. Little Things Make Them Angry
A person who is trying to ease out of a relationship will find little things about you that provoke them to bursts of anger. That’s because when you’re not into someone, you tend to exaggerate their flaws. And all those little things that used to be cute about you are now annoying.

6. Very Little Physical Contact
If someone isn’t into you, it’s evident in how little that person seeks out physical contact. If you used to kiss or hold hands, but that’s a thing of the past, take note. If you attempt to touch in public, and are rebuffed, redline the ‘worry meter.’ You are heading in the wrong direction, and disaster is imminent.


7. Nothing To Talk About
If you’re spending dates in a lot of silence, or in mindless small talk, the one you’re enamored with is not that into you anymore. A relationship that’s fully connected generates ample conversation, because you both want to share your feelings and experiences. A relationship in which one party doesn’t care anymore results in long silences and boredom when you’re together.

8. Flirting With Others
It’s always a problem when your partner decides it’s appropriate to flirt with others in your presence. This is not only a sign of disrespect, it is a sign that your feelings no longer factor into the other person’s behavior. Aggressive flirting is humiliating and a clear sign that your relationship needs CPR.

9. Fights About Nothing
If your partner is starting fights over nothing, it’s probably because they are trying to push you into ending the relationship. A lot of people just aren’t strong enough to admit that interest has waned, so they create drama in the hopes that your frustrations will take them off the hook, and you’ll initiate a breakup.

10. Loves You, But Not ‘In’ Love With You
Romantic comedies aren’t the only place where you will find a man or woman who tries the line, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” It may sound like a cliche, but people use this line all the time to indicate that romantic feelings may be absent, but that friendship is alive and well. If your partner hits you with the not in love but I love you line, you’re done.

11. Always An Excuse For Not Hanging Out
If someone likes you, hanging out together is never an issue. But if you’re not into someone, you always find an excuse not to hang out. If your partner can’t seem to carve out time for you, it’s not because of a busy life, it’s because you’re just not up to snuff.

12. Treats You the Same As His Friends
If your partner treats you in the same way as people who have been friends for ages, that’s a clear sign that there are no sparks between you. A person who is into you will modify their behavior when they are with you, giving you special treatment. But if you are just another friend, you must face up to the ugly truth.

13. Talking About Exes
People who talk about their exes when they are with someone new are sending a message that they aren’t dialed-in to their present relationship. An occasional mention of an ex is expected, but constant talk about old dates or the habits of an ex are not cool and demeaning to you if you allow it to continue.

14. You Can’t Tell If There’s a Connection
This seems like a ‘duh,’ but sometimes a cigar is a cigar, unless it’s a Cuban cigar, then it’s an illegal cigar, but still a cigar. Anyway, a person who obfuscates and can’t tell you if there are romantic sparks is someone who is not into you. If you are interested in someone, don’t you send off signals, subtle or otherwise? It’s a guarantee that if you have feelings for a person, you will find a way to make those feelings clear, right?

15. No Eye Contact
This one sounds lame, but it’s true. A person who likes you and wants to connect with you, will look into your eyes. It’s a subtle but very important aspect of interpersonal communication. No eye contact? Not into you. Sorry.

16. No Mention of You On Social Media Account
If the person you’re into hasn’t accepted your Facebook invite, or if your Facebook invite has been accepted, but your name doesn’t appear anywhere on the person’s page, you can be sure that you aren’t a priority. Social media is where most people give updates on the status of their relationships, post photos with significant others and generally vomit their lives up for judgment.

17. No Text Replies
This one’s a really easy ‘tell’ as they say in poker. Texting is about as easy and non-committal as it gets, so if your significant other can’t muster up the energy to reply to your texts, nothing good is about to happen for the two of you. Replying to a text requires less energy than talking on the phone. It’s a lazy person’s way of communicating, so feel free to draw some firm conclusions from the absence of a text response.

18. Always Cancels Plans
Spending time together is the way people connect and strengthen their relationship. If the person you’re into is always canceling plans that you make, it’s a big red flag. This is especially true if the cancellations occur at the last minute, which shows a total lack of respect and regard for your feelings.

19. Looks At Members of the Opposite Sex In Your Presence
Would you check someone else out if you were into the person sitting right next to you? That’s right, you wouldn’t, but if you were bored by or not that into the person sitting next to you, you’d likely find your eyes wandering to other people who better matched your desires. If the person you’re into is doing that when you’re out together, bail.

20. It’s All Physical From Them
Sometimes, a person who’s not that into you will still want to have sex because you’re available, and it’s an easy way to satisfy a carnal urge. But if you find that the only reason you get together is to have sex with the other person, and there is no substantive conversation afterward, you’ve been played. Having sex is not the same as having a connection, so don’t mistake the physical act as indicative that the person is into you, because if it’s just sex without affection, it’s not healthy for you.